Dear Friends, March 7
I didn’t really understand YouTube in South Africa. Trying to watch a video that keeps stalling because of the limited bandwidth available to Internet users in SA can get quite irritating. It’s only now living in the UK – with high download speeds – that I can see how enticing YouTube can be. And I’m only using 3G broadband which has a somewhat variable quality. People with ADSL lines at home are getting true speeds of up to 8Mbps – that’s the equivalent of very damn fast for those people who don’t understand the jargon. For instance, I needed to download a 150 megabyte update for my computer the other day. So, instead of doing it on my 3G modem, I went to a cafe-bar around that corner that offers free wireless Internet access for its patrons. I walked in, sat down, set up my computer, connected to the network and started the download. Then I went to the bar counter to get a beer. It took a couple of minutes because the barman had a few people to serve. When I got back to my computer, I was stunned to see that the download was almost finished. And the really funny, fascinating bit is that the Brits can sometimes be heard complaining bitterly that they have the worst Internet backbone and facilities in Europe. I, on the other hand, who knows what a truly crap service is, am more than happy for the time being with what’s available here in the UK.
I got on to this because I read something about comedian Billy Connolly in the newspaper which persuaded me to look it up on Google. From there, one of the links was to YouTube. I opened the link, and a six minute video downloaded within about 30 seconds. That led to watching a whole bunch more Billy Connolly clips which, in turn, led me onto other comedians whose humour I have particularly enjoyed like (You know you’re a redneck) Jeff Foxworthy and Steven Wright. Later, when I was trying to find downloads from Portuguese television to help my Portuguese language skills along, I found a website which allowed me to watch live Portuguese television. As a result of these discoveries I’m really looking forward to moving into our new home at the end of the month when we will be able to get an unlimited ADSL service.
The week began with a trip to London last Sunday to go and meet our friends Johan and Linda for lunch. I decided to do whatever the satnav that Andreas lent us told me to do. Rather oddly on the way there, it told us to go south around London on the M25, which probably added 20 or 30 miles to our journey by my guesstimate. For the journey home, I told it to take us HOME which I had reprogrammed as the guest house in Warwick. Once again, I thought it was a bit odd when it told us to take the M11, which goes to Cambridge, and I asked Lucia to check that the machine had defined our Warwick address as HOME. Indeed it had, so we continued to follow its instructions in the dark of night. When, much later, it told us to turn North rather than East, I knew there was something wrong. It was definitely ordering us to go to Andreas and Michelle. I asked Lucia to switch it off and then on again, and then told it to lead us home which it sweetly did this time, never mind that it had maliciously added 50 miles to our journey. I think the secret is always to have a map book nearby which one can consult should one doubts the veracity and correctness of the instructions. But for city driving, when continual references to a map book can get both cumbersome and annoying to other road users, I think the satnav device is unsurpassed (so long as you have given it the correct address, postal code or coordinates.) It really does take you right to the door of wherever you want to go to.
What I need to do now is buy the cable which allows you to connect the device to your computer. This is vital because one of the added options you can pay for and download onto the satnav device, is the location of all fixed speed cameras in the UK. These cameras are big, garish yellow devices planted in plain view with added warning signs before you even get to the camera; on top of this, the authorities have kindly painted a series of 20 very noticeable white lines in the road at each camera. But it’s still possible not to notice the device, particularly in built up areas where there are lots of other distractions around. I have “suddenly” chanced upon a camera on one or two occasions and have had to brake sharply. I hope I haven’t been zapped.
But I was talking about Sunday lunch. What the four of us hadn’t figured out was that it was UK Mother’s Day and every restaurant we tried in Chislehurst high street was fully booked through the afternoon. We just carried on walking down the road and eventually came across a completely empty Indian restaurant. But, yes, they were open, and lunch was a delicious, relaxed affair with very attentive service.
I went to London again on Wednesday because the Portuguese consulate just didn’t answer their telephone. All I wanted to know was what we needed to get Lucia a multiple entry Schengen visa so that we don’t have to apply for a visa every time we want to fly down to see Barbara and Terry at their home on the Algarve. It’s all very well being able to get a return ticket for £30 or £40 from Coventry or Birmingham airports to anywhere in Europe, but a round trip to London to get a visa costs £30. So that’s £30 when you go to London to hand in the visa application, and another £30 to go and fetch the passport when the visa is ready. Fortunately we don’t have to pay for the visa as Lucia is the spouse of a British citizen. Anyway, the short answer from the consulate was that there is no set rule for getting a multiple entry visa. Each application is taken on merit, and the decision is made by ministry staff in Lisbon rather than consular staff in London (as would be the case for a normal tourist visa). We also have to get a notarised letter of invitation from Barbara and Terry, as well as providing all the usual visa guarantees that we have sufficient funds to support ourselves as well as health insurance in case anything should befall us.
It took me all of 10 minutes to get the short and not very helpful answer, and I had the rest of the day free to stroll around London as well as joining Johan for lunch around the corner from his office just off Brompton Road in Knightsbridge. For a while I walked around the streets of Soho which is much, much different from how I remember it in the 1980’s. Now it’s full of chic boutiques, coffee shops and eye wateringly expensive homes. The only reminder of its past are the discrete plaques on the doors of many houses that say: “This is not a brothel. There are no prostitutes here.” I also found a tiny two-seat barbershop where I got a Number Two haircut for just £5. Lucia thought it was, perhaps, a bit too short when she saw it. I disagreed. I also spent some time strolling around the streets of Knightsbridge, Brompton and Kensington, daydreaming about which house I might buy when we win the Euromillions lottery. I finished with a stroll along the South Bank from the London Eye to Waterloo Bridge and back.
Today (Friday) I went to a lunchtime organ recital at the Birmingham Cathedral, probably one of the smallest cathedrals in the world. The cathedral has free lunchtime concerts most Fridays. Today’s programme was a bit obscure. (That means that I had either never heard the piece of music before or, beyond that, never heard of the composer.) I know I’m out of my depth when the organist says that there is a very amusing little passage in the work reminiscent of “For he’s a jolly good fellow”. While music may indeed raise many emotions within me, hilarity is seldom one of them. I think the closest I’ve ever come to humour in music was various recordings by musician/humorist Victor Borge sometime in the early 1980’s. Borge died in 2000. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Borge or http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Victor+Borge&search_type=)
It’s Crufts this weekend (probably the world’s best known dog show) being held at the NEC (National Exhibition Centre) just around the corner in Birmingham. Lucia is watching the day’s highlights on BBC2. We’re going to the show on Sunday morning when the Rhodesian Ridgebacks are being judged. I bet Edgar would beat them all hands down if he wasn’t in quarantine (and if we hadn’t given him the chop.)
That’s it.
Love, light & peace
Llewellyn
